Secret Asari and an obvious volus
by Javamonsoon
Summary: A fed up volus sparks a revolution by tipping three asari strippers.


**1**

Once upon a time and fourhundred years ago, an asari matron made her way through the crowded streets of Illium. She was on her way to the meetingpoint at the panoramic vista of Illium, close by the space-port. Sarina hoped her friends hadn't arrived yet, they might think that she wouldn't show up and then leave again.

Sarina wasn't happy with the meeting taking place on Illium. Idealistic as the matron was, the oppressive governing of Illium by a hated dictator was something she reeled against. That was not how asari should live, one asari kicking down other asari, out of greed and because she was a more powerful biotic than her peers. To Sarina, all asari should live side by side as equals. No division in castes defined by age, no matriarchs laying down the rules. But democracy in which all asari had a vote, that was Sarina's biggest desire.

She had long ago given up her political aspirations as her manifestoes were without exception beaten down by the most influential matriarchs in the greater asari expanse. Sarina had turned to giving more direct help to asari that needed it, she maintained a little clinic in the less pittoresk slums on Thessia.

Sarina kept hoping that her ideals would be widely carried one day, but today her ideals played second fiddle to having fun. Upon turning matron, Sarina and two of her best friends with whome she had partied three centuries away had made a pact. They would meet one more time, centuries into their matron-stage to party down like old times. Illium, what was a budding colony back then, was chosen as nobody would know them there. The three friends had build up quite a reputation as daring strippers, sensational pole-dancers and professional binge-drinkers. Suffice it to say that when the three friends decided to call it a day, most police-services in the greater asari expanse and a little beyond there, were on to them. On Illium, nobody would know them and their stagename, 'The Secret Asari', would be truly secret. They would truly be secret asari and Illium would've been the perfect place. Would've been. Now it was a place of oppression, fear, hunger and in-equality, but a pact is a pact. One does not alter a pact.

Sarina did not dress in the iconic one-piece tunics asari favor. She was very sporty, prefering loose shirts, bermuda shorts and moccasains. She was saving up gifts to add a small sky-ball court to her clinic so that she could teach the slumkids sports and to provide an outlet for them. Gifts were few and far between though and she often found herself in the lines of the soupkitchen, next to the asari she wanted to help so bad. The round-trip ticket to Illium had meant a steep hit to her savings and she feared that her friends wouldn't show afterall, even though she had reminded them not too long ago.

Despite Sarina's worries, the vista over Illium was breathtaking. It was hard to imagine that the colony hid so much suffering within its walls if you stood there taking in the sights. Mesmerized by the view, Sarina had no idea that the first of her two friends was coming up behind her.

"Hello, dear.", Sarina's friend said with an amicable voice, "I do hope you're fine with me being fashionably late?"

**2**

"Aetytha!", Sarina cheered while taking her friend by the hands, "Look at you! I mean, look. at. you., you haven't changed one bit! What's with the folklore tunic and the weird talking?"

"Oh, pay it no mind, dear.", Aetytha spoke lightly, "I've met the most refined woman and while I admire her from afar, I'm meeting myself proper manners to fall into her league, which, admittedly is sadly still out of my reach. I'm sure you understand that krogan burping records are in no shape or form worthy as a topic to woe such a fine example of asari breeding standards."

"Seriously? 'Pinch the krogan in the quads'-Aetytha in love with an up-town girl? She must be very special if she has you bend all out of shape."

Aetytha laughed, "It might take a handful of centuries, dear, but one day, Benizia T'Soni will be my bondmate. It is written in the thessian night-sky and destined to be so. And when that time is finally upon us, I'm planning on going all Ardat-Yakshi on Benizia's maddingly shapely body and show her the stars from up close in the sweetest 'embrace eternity' ever created by two asari that can do no else but love eachother.", Aetytha sighed, "It's written in the stars, dear."

Sarina stared at Aetytha in disbelief, "Benizia T'Soni? _The_ Benizia T'soni? I know you prefer one of your own for lovemaking, but Aetytha... All the help in the world will never get you noticed by Benizia T'Soni. And you'll need more than a handful of centuries to even begin to understand what she says when she opens her mouth."

"You confidence in my romantic ability is warmly appreciated, dear.", Aetytha said lighthearted, "Mentioning warmly appreciated, have you spotted our brooding cookie yet?"

Sarina glanced around, "No, I'm beginning to think she won't come. The last I heard of her through the grapevine was that she was trying to make ends meet as a chatter-upper in some sleeze-bar on a far away space-station. I'm regretting that I never could convince her to come with me and help me with starting up a clinic in the slums. It would've been so much better than being a look-no-touch girl somewhere far away without any friends for support."

Aetytha smiled, "You're still the same selfless dreamer, dear, our friend will find a solution to her blues. All she needs is a little motivation to stop being so brooding and gloomy. She must learn to stand up for herself, but one can't help another standing tall if that other is decided on staying down. If I'm not mistaken, that's our scared little bird over there."

Sarina saw her too and raised a hand in the air, "Aria! Overhere!"

**3**

Aria cursed under her breath. Sarina and Aetytha had spotted her. Off course. Nothing got by Aetytha. That asari was aware of what happened behind her back as if it was happening right in front of her nose.

Aria had already been doubting if she should show up at all. The trip to Illium was not cheap at all and making money selling trinkets in franchise from a greedy elcor was so unprofitable that she had to moonlight as a look-no-touch girl in that seedy Afterlife bar to make ends meet. And here she was, on her way to piss away her savings because she had made a pact a little over hundred years ago. Maybe she could mooch off of on Aethyta. She looked like she was doing reasonably well. Sarina wouldn't be having many credits on her, the woman looked too skinny and she was too much of an asarinist to keep what credits she would have to herself. She would've given most of her credits to the downthrodden.

Aria couldn't imagine how fun it would be to party down with two broke friends. Illium didn't look as if it would support more than an hour of drinks before they had to call it a day. And now that Aetytha had spotted her, Aria had no chance to slip away back to Omega, a lot poorer, but not totally broke and miserable.

Aria hesistantly walked over to her friends and was taken by surpise when Sarina embraced her, "Aria! How have you been?" Aria freed herself with a weak smile, "Well, you know, staying alive and making do..." Sarina's embrace did make Aria feel a bit better. Maybe this could be fun if all they did was talking, maybe get a few cheap drinks and a few cheap snacks. Maybe her savings could be rescued afterall and maybe she would walk away from this with a happy memory that would keep her going while selling trinkets in the Omega slums.

Aetytha lightly touched Aria, who involuntarily tensed up. It did not escape Aetytha's attention in the least, "Aria, my dear, I sense a slight discomfort in your poise. What's happening to you?"

Aria turned her gaze to the ground, "I went five cycles not being cornered by vorcha-rapegangs... That has to count for something, right..? I-I'm sorry... I wanted to say something else. I'm spoiling the mood, I s-should go." Aetytha quickly held Aria back, "No, dear, Sarina and I are very happy to see you again. This our day of friendship and reliving the past when no one stood in our way and we commandeered the stages throughout the expanse going full monty. We're going to lift your spirit with spirits and when we're done, you'll be a new asari who's ready to look the galaxy in the eye and spit in it too. On my way here I've spotted a run-down establishment that has to be offering some non-descript swill on the cheap and with a bit of luck, even cheaper entertainment. Why don't we sojourn there and catch up. It has been centuries since we last talked."

Aria gave Aetytha a confused look, "Why are you talking all w-weird, Aetytha? Are you dripping red-sand in your e-eyes or something?"

Sarina laughed freely, "Nonono, Aetytha is in looooove.", Sarina sobered and continued, "Which might actually be worse, come to think of it."

**4**

And so, the three asari found themselves in the run-down establishment, which by Aetytha's standards wasn't all that run-down, there was afterall still paint on the woodwork. It could've been worse. Other than that, the place was badly lit and on the stage was an uninterested asari doing something that could loosely be called dancing; if you squinted it could even be judged as an half-assed attempt at implied lewdness. The music was repetitive drab that Aetytha had quickly pegged for soft-azure. Aria and Sarina took her word for it.

The first few drinks, indeed as cheap as can be expected, they spent talking about their recent pasts. Aetytha regaled her friends on Benizia T'soni and her undying love for the high-society figure. Even Aria could not see it happening. Aetytha, according to Aria, loved the under-belly culture of the asari too much. No amount of flowery speaking would hide Aetytha's brusque manners and the easy way in which she carried herself.

"You're just too much asari-trash.", Aria concluded.

"Undeniably, dear. But why should that in any way hold me back and disallow me to rise above? At the very least, the attempt alone should be laubable, should it not?", Aetytha replied, ever lighthearted, "In that vain, my dear Aria, you could pick up some pointers from asari-trash like your friend Aetytha."

Aria gave her drink a hesistant look, "I-I hold my own...", she spoke without looking up. Aetytha smiled at her friend, "I think that you should get a nice faceprint lasered in, Aria. I've told you so many times that you should bring out your features more, to draw the attention away from your nose, which is a very beautiful nose, but very... prominent, shall we say?"

Sarina tensed as Aria's face got a bit blue, "I-I have a goddess' nose..."

"Yes, dear, but your whole face is a display of divinity that's being kept in the back like so much stage-filler. A faceprint that draws the eyes to the sides of your face forces people to look at the entire you, dear. So, I propose that, since we're making a start with getting blued, we get Aria tattooed along the way."

Sarina quickly spoke up, "You're not thinking of adding 'getting screwed', are you Aetytha?" Aetytha looked as Sarina with feigned indignity, "I would never suggest such a thing, but the day is still young and as they so eloquently put it, the future is a blanco page awaiting the opportunity to be filled with the adventures of the bold. By the by, Sarina, you seemed to have lost your gusto for carnality over the centuries. One would almost call it puritine."

"Don't go there, Aetytha. Aria and I have found ourselves in some weird situations with you looking on, only to realise that you got us in those situations in the first place. Back then it appeared to be fun and games, but I've had the time to reflect. And I can't believe the stunts we pulled as maidens now."

"I-I always feel better w-when I look back.", Aria offered. Aetytha took that as moral support, "See, Sarina, even our timid friend enjoyed her maiden-years. Off course, there were times when the three of us got a little too cozy and azure... But no harm was ever done. I wonder if that aesthetic excercise OT-vid of us is still in rotation. Aria, you and I on that rug... Ah, priceless."

"I-I hope not...", Aria stammered, wanting to become so small that she could drown herself in her drink, "W-what if we become f-famous and that OT-vid i-is found?" Aetytha laughed heartily and Aria dared a little laugh. When Aetytha sobered a bit she spoke with a hint of amazement, "Oh, dear sweet Aria, you little sweet bird of my heart, do you really still believe we get to be famous one day?"

Sarina huffed, "Well, maybe not you, Aetytha."

"I-it could happen.", Aria defended herself, "I r-read about it so often in 'Asari Lifestyle'. Y-you only need to meet the r-right person sometimes... A-and then you're on every b-billboard..."

Sarina sighed and shook her head, "Oh Aria.., do you still read that glossy?"

"I-I fill out the p-personality tests... I-I want to g-grow."

"Aria, those test are designed to tell you what you already know.", Sarina spoke firmly, "That you're a sucker for personality tests. You scored fifteen points, your favorite color is white. You don't bring much to the table, but at least you try. If only people would listen to you, you could show them that you could make a difference. Blech!"

Aetytha slammed a flat hand on the table, "Sarina! If our little butterfly finds courage in personality tests then those tests provide a service and whether or not those tests are actually meaningful has very little to do with that. Right now I suggest you fill out a personality test, because you seem to fall a bit short of the cut-off point."

"P-please stop fighting...", Aria spoke softly, "Y-you're right, the tests always t-tell me what I know already, b-but sometimes I feel b-better."

Aetytha emptied her glass, "And that's all that can be expected, dear. Now, drink up you two, and we go looking for a tattoo-parlor. We're going to turn our little peyak into a confident matron even if it is the last thing we do today."

**5**

It took some wandering about, but after some searching the three friends came upon a tattoo-parlor hidden away in a backstreet. The place had a certain shady feel to it, quite apopriate to its intent and location. Aetytha confidently entered the parlor, with Aria firmly in tow. Aria had no choice, Aetytha had a firm grip on her hand.

"Ah, perfect. Seedy, reeky and dodgy. I almost feared parlors like this had gone out of style. Come on, dear, take a seat.", Aetytha spoke happily as she swung Aria around and pushed her down in a tattoo-chair. Sarina looked at the faceprint samples that hung from the walls from ceiling to floor and wondered, "Are we even able to afford this?"

"I-I can't for sure...", Aria said, hoping that this would be the end of that plan. She really wanted a faceprint as the idea of appearing stronger than she was appealed greatly, but she was realistic enough to see that it was outside of her buying-power, "M-my rent is a-almost due..."

"Sarina, dear, have you been a matron for so long that you've forgotten how to trade on your good looks? Go and dazzle the propietor and con her out of a sizeable discount, just like you used to do. Hurry along now."

"How much credits do you need? [hiss-click]"

Aetytha and Sarina looked down and noticed a volus that they were sure hadn't been there a moment ago. The propietor, who also had come in, alarmed to the voices in her parlor, stated a sum that gave Aetytha and Sarina pause and Aria an apoplexy.

"Getting a tattoo isn't what it used to be.", Sarina breathed, but the volus produced his creditchit and tossed it on the register-counter, "Here's my creditchit [hiss-click]. Abuse it as you will [hiss-click]."

Aetytha, normally not bothered with gifts from strangers, nevertheless hurried, "My friends and I don't want to appear ungrateful, nice mister volus, but isn't this a little steep for charity?"

The volus dismissively adjusted his belt, "Bah! [hiss-click] Either I give my credits away or I get cornered by Kensi's Commandoes and they force me to hand them over. [Hiss-click]", the volus accepted his creditchit back and walked to the exit. Before he vanished into the outside he grunted 'bah [hiss-clik]' one more time.

"Well,", the propietor smiled, ".., it's not often that when I give a price out of the top-range tattoo section, no-one haggles till something agreeable from a more economic range is found. Take your time making a selection from the best tattoos, girls. I'll be closing for the day after I'm done."

"I agree, take your time, Aria.", Sarina urged and Aetytha also was like-minded, "Yes, dear, this is indeed a most important decision. You should choose with care."

"I-I already know what I want... I s-saw it when we c-came in.", Aria pointed at a faceprint that would become her iconic trademark, "I-it's beautiful."

"And a top-range print.", the propietor smiled, "I was afraid I would never sell it, this print is a design by the famous tattoo-artist Banhot from Dakuuna. I remember when I bought this one from him, he said, 'with shame, this is not my best design'. Still, informed asari recognize his designs from afar and know they can't afford them. He will be delighted to hear that it sold."

"Oh good, I'm happy to learn that the exclusive face-prints are still uniques.", Aetytha said.

The propietor inspected Aria's facial structure and said, "Banhot says that his designs are always dedicated to the face that fits them. The right face will select the right print and Goddess, I do see what he means now. You, my dear, have the perfect face for this print."

"T-thank you.", Aria said flattered.

The propietor readied a computer-needler and scanned the print in. As the needler scanned the image, it shredded the print and a cloud of confetti fell into a trash-can below it. "Banhot is sought after because his prints are unique, he doesn't make copies. Parlors he sells too have to sign a contract that forbids them to make copies of his prints and that his prints are destroyed upon application. You'll be the envy of your friends, my dear. Now just relax. The procedure is totally pain-free and you can move your head a little, the computer will compensate. But keep your movements small. The computer will notice when you need to sneeze or cough and stop applying well before, but to be safe, any sneezing and coughing should best be done now. Before the computer starts, it will first scan your facial structure. A green light starts to blink when that's done and you can request a rescan or you can tell it to start. Just say 'rescan' or 'start', loud and firm. No need to be polite, it's a computer and will not get testy by being talked to in a curt manner. Whenever you're ready, just say 'scan'."

"S-should I close my e-eyes?"

"Sure, go for it. I actually prefer it when my patrons fall asleep during the application. The computer is flawless, but the asari-factor not so much.", the propietor placed a few fingertips on her right temple and followed, "On the off-chance that a patron changes her mind when she half-way through realises that I don't do washable prints, you see."

"I-I want this.", Aria said and she clenched her fists in determination, "Scan!"

**6**

"I'm proud of you, Aria.", Sarina praised when the three friends a few hours later had found another cheap bar to toast Aria's faceprint, "I was sure you'd run out of us at the very last moment. That print is totally you." Aetytha chimed in, "I have to admit that even I feel that it must have been touch and go there for a while. That nice volus sure was a welcome surprise all things considered."

Aria checked herself in a vanity that she had gotten as a complimentary gift from the parlor's propietor and felt really happy with her new look, "I'm happy it isn't w-washable, I would be s-sad if this would go a-away."

"We certainly don't want to see you sad, dear. It's good to see that maiden-sparkle in your eyes again. You always were the timid one, but this morning it seemed as if your timidness had reached rock-bottom."

As the three friends sat at their table and really started to living it up, the bar filled slowly and it became actually crowded. The music became louder, the crowd livelier and then suddenly, the music stopped, the lights dimmed and the crowd silenced. A bright spotlight was bathing a stage in a wash of reddish glow and after a short while a colorfully dressed asari took the stage. "Welcome one and all, to Panto's open podium! Anyone who feels daring enough to entertain a hostile crowd...", the asari paused to let the crowd laugh, "I said... a hostile crowd... Okay, okay! It wasn't that funny! Seriously... if you have what it takes, come forward and be recognized! Just come to me and I'll give you a slot. We kick this round of the open podium off traditionally (the asari sounded a bit annoyed here) with a performance by Slither... The salarian contortionist! Wooh!"

"Oh my... that asari knows how to work a crowd, doesn't she?", Aetytha laughed, "Why don't we register? I dare say we still got the stuff and I'm sure that the two of you still remember the routine. We can blow that Slither away with our eyes closed."

"I-I still do the r-routine when I'm alone in my a-apartment.", Aria said enthousiastically, "I-I still know my p-part of the routine." Sarina sighed, "Okay, ladies, I'm already outvoted... If we're going to do this, I have to have a few more drinks... I'm the first one in the routine to strip down afterall and I haven't stripped in public for a mess of years. I'm too sober to do it fluently."

Aria bursted at the seams, most probably a combination of the faceprint and the drinks, looking forward to take the stage. She had always been the timid one of the three, but on stage she became a beast craving for steamheat. After the friends went their own way, Aria went on solo for a while with reasonable success, but much of the fun was lost with Aetytha's thirst for adventure and Sarina's appetite for the azure side of life gone from her life. Timid as she was, she went from bad contract to bad contract to end up on Omega, a repurposed miningstation at the ass-end of nowhere, where interest in her dancing had dried up completely. Totally an unremarkable asari, Aria had to accept a franchise-deal with an overbearing elcor who had no trouble at all to have Aria agree to cuttroath terms. But in her little apartment, where she sought for selfworth in glossies and dancing her part of an old stripper-routine, it was alright again.

Aria was glad Aetytha had noticed her afterall, this already was a great day and not half as bad as she had feared. She had fun! Goddess yeah, she was going to dance with her friends.

"I find it a little bit ironic that you're the one who would need liquid courage, Sarina. I remember quite vividly that half if not more of the azure we got into was sparked by your person.", Aetytha said without malice, "Mind you, the memories are pleasant, but it always was Aria we had to motivate for showing her darker hue of blue."

"O-only sometimes... o-on off-days!", Aria defended, "N-not always..." Aetytha laughed pleasantly, "No dear, I wast just teasing you a little."

"Are you drinking that, Aria?", Sarina asked, but she didn't wait for an answer. She took Aria's drink and drank it down in one go, "Ah yes, I'm starting to feel it. Inspiration, I mean. Let me order a new round while one of you registers us before I change my mind."

"I'll take care of that detail, girls.", Aetytha said and got up. Leaving her friends squabbling over what drink to order next, she made her way through the crowd to the colorfully dressed asari. It took a few times to get the woman's attention, because Slither, the salarian contortionist was badgering her for the opening-slot of the next open podium. On stage, an elcor was performing a breathtaking feat. He was reciting turian poetry in salarian staccato.

"Yes, I know Slither is always the first to open, alright?", the woman snapped and Aetytha gave her a bemused look, "I picked up on that during your riveting introduction, dear. My feelings for Slither's performance are not of such quality I need to bother you with it. I'm here to register for a slot, you see. My two friends and I wish to regale the audience with a dance-act that was once the talk of asari nightlife. It may be a bit dated now, but then again, it has been almost two centuries since we last took to the stage."

"Well, I'm Panto, the organizer of the weekly open podium here. I need to... wait... I recognize you! You're one of that old time stripper-troupe, aren't you. 'The Secret Asari', wasn't it? I used to carry a torch for the girl that always bared all first... Salia? Salza? Sarina! My old OT-recording of one your shows detoriated a long time ago. Sure, I'll write you guys down. It will be awesome to offer a vintage strip-act on my open podium, I'll be honored. One thing, frontal nudity is just about okay, but the panties stay firmly in place. Otherwise I get slapped with breaking the anti-lewdness act. I'll move you guys right up the roster, as soon as the elcor is done, you're up."

"Wait, did you say anti-lewdness act?", Aetytha asked and Panto shrugged, "Yeah, just another 'law' Kensi shoved down our throats. You can buy it off on a day by day basis, but I don't have that kind of credits. I don't dare risking it too, Kensi's informants are everywhere." Aetytha nodded, "I'll tell the girls about the panties. Any music will do, dear, just give us something with a steady beat and we'll take care of the rest." Panto nodded and was besieged by Slither again while Aetytha worked her way through the crowd back. Sarina had amassed an enormous amount of inspiration and Aria was ready to get started, judging by the sparkles in her eyes.

"Are we re-[hic]gistererered?", Sarina asked, which caused a giggle from Aria. Aetytha nodded, "We're slotted after the elcor, dears, which, judging by your command of common thessian, Sarina, is for the best. We have to keep our panties on, however, the beloved dictator has seen it fit to decree an anti-lewdness act. I trust that no one of us is truly sorry about that."

"Nooooooo.", Sarina slurred, "Dat meanz I can [hic] stop gathererering inzpiration now."

"T-topless is not s-stripping.", Aria sulked, "T-that's for when you're f-figure is matriarchal.", Aria stood up and turned in her unique way to Aetytha, by turning her head first and then her body, "L-let's go, Aetytha. I'll g-guide Sarina to the s-stage..."

As Aetytha went ahead and Aria helped Sarina to her feet, Sarina wondered, "Howz Aety[hic]tha gonna ztrip outta dat tunic?" Aria eyes widened when she realised it too, "I have no c-clue..."

**7**

As Panto introduced the three friends, Aria asked Aetytha, "I-I've been your u-understudy, c-can I dance the o-opening for once?" Aetytha nodded, "But off course, dear, it's yours to dance." Aria practically jumped up and down, "T-thanks! I'll fall i-in my part after the o-opening!"

Panto demanded silence from the crowd by making funny cut-it-out signs and spoke loudly, "Ladies and asari! With pride I present you something special, something not seen on stage for centuries... A vintage vaudeville act performed by the original troupe that made the act famous across the stars and beyond... I give you... THE SECRET ASARI!"

Under hesistant applause, the stage went dark and in that darkness, Aria took her spot and waited for the music to start and the stage-lights to come on. All that she knew about the music was what she had heard from Aetytha, it would have a good beat. But that didn't matter for Aria. As soon as the music started she set off in gracious dance, twirling with her arms wide and with the most radiant smile on her lips. Her timidity was gone, her awkwardness lifted and her opening dazzled the crowd. As Sarina and Aetytha joined her and Aria took her place in the dancing trio, the crowd exploded in cheering and applause as they realised that this had been only the opening.

Sarina's intoxication did not show at all as she took the lead, she was a vision of light-footed grace and working the effect of her loose fit clothes flowing with her as she moved to the fullest. As Aetytha and Aria came up behind her, Sarina suddenly fell into a split and Aetytha and Aria were holding her shirt.

When the audience realised that Sarina was now topless, they erupted into roaring appreciation. More than a hundred years had past since they last took the stage, but The Secret Asari danced as if they had never been away. Their routine, vintage as it maybe, still captured the heart and minds of any audience.

A familiar volus worked himself to the fore of the audience and fiddled with his OT and the OT on Sarina's left wrist flared up briefly, while she was still in her split. Aetytha and Aria lifted her up by the arms and as they waited for Sarina to graciously bring her legs under her, she said without breaking her smile, "That volus just tipped us." Aetytha, also without breaking her smile returned, "Shake him like a money-tree, dear, we might walk away with enough credits for a five course champagne dinner in the Illium Astoria." and then she launched Sarina in a twirl.

Sarina had no time to think and maybe her earlier drinking still played a part too. When she ended her twirl, Sarina was holding her shorts above her head and yelled, "Down with Kensi!"

Nobody understood how Sarina had been able to step out of her shorts and it was indeed a well-kept secret, that no other stripper-troupe had ever since been able to duplicate. Both the amazing strip-act and the message was not lost on the audience and the volus. Sarina's OT briefly flared up again, but other spectators were now tipping too. This might even end with a ten course champagne dinner... In the audience, many people repeated Sarina's slogan. She knew she had the crowd on their knees and Aetytha had yet to dance her part, followed by Aria. But Sarina was not done with her dance yet. Normally, this would be the part where Sarina would perform a backward flip, flanked by Aetytha and Aria and land with her back to the audience, slightly bending over, waiting for the audience to realize that Aetytha was holding her panties.

As she landed in her position with her panties still firmly in place, she didn't wait but instead invented a few showsteps on the spot and yelled, "Illium free!"

The volus tipped again, but the audience was in uproar, fighting broke out, furniture was thrown through windows and the audience took it to the streets. 'Illium free' was their battle cry.

On the stage Aetytha stopped dancing and Sarina wasn't quite sure if she should go on. Aria was still dancing because she was enjoying herself so much that she hardly had eye for what happened, but when she realised that the music had stopped, the audience was leaving to take the fight to the hated dictator and the only one applauding them was the volus, she came to rest too. Something came over Aria. Something she had never felt before. Anger. Maybe because she had always feared conflict, maybe because she wanted so much to be happy, maybe because she never dared to speak up unless she rehearsed for two days, maybe because centuries of playing second fiddle to everyone, even her friends, finally was uncontainable. Aria snapped.

"That's it! No more!", Aria said with a soon to be iconic look on her face that millions of people in the galaxy would come to fear in the centuries to follow. With two big steps she was on the volus, "If you want to get rid of your governor so much, then you follow me and I'll see to it that you depose her, you got that, pisspot?", Aria grabbed hold of the volus and as she dragged him outside Aria growled, "Don't fuck with Aria!"

Sarina was in utter denyal over Aria's sudden change, "Who is that woman?", she asked no one in particular. Aetytha was less impressed, "It appears our little butterfly was in reality a caterpillar. Come on, we have to follow her and bring her to her senses before something happens to her, when she comes to without us, the poor thing will surely panic."

"My clothes!", Sarina yelled as Aetytha dragged her along. Aetytha didn't listen...

**8**

Outside, the riot was in full swing and gaining in stength. Aetytha decided it was best to take the high street to the governor's offices, guessing that the riotteers would instinctively choose the road of least resistance. Kensi's Commandoes were taken by surprise and the angry mob, growing larger by second, gained hand over feet in confidence.

Making their way through the crossfire of biotics, they finally spotted Aria and the volus and they linked up. "I will destroy you!", Aria yelled she reaved a Kensi Commando. Then she ducked behind her cover and hissed at Aetytha, "Nice of you to help."

"No problem dear.", Aetytha said gracefully. She was leaning with her back against the cover provided by a make-shift barricade and flung a biotic-slam over her left shoulder towards the Kensi Commandoes, "Tell me if I hit anything."

Sarina tried to be as small as possible and concentrated on covering her breasts with her arms, "Aria, where did you get such skill in your biotics? What happened to your stutter?", she asked. Aria didn't answer right away. She fired off some biotics and then ducked back into cover. "Don't know. Don't care. Questions answered.", Aria said bitingly. She shook her right hand to loosen it a bit, darted out of cover and reaved another Kensi Commando. Then she ducked back into her cover.

Aetytha begun to enjoy the fighting and layed down a wide shockwave that knocked a few Commandoes over. Then she calmly lowered herself into cover again and turned her attention to the volus, "Mister volus, we are still unaware of your name."

The volus, short enough to be in cover without ducking, adjusted his belt and vocalized, "Porta Jon [hiss-click]" Sarina lost it. She embarked on a hysteric laughingfit while trying to say something that only made it worse, "His name's [laughter] mobile [laughter] toilet and Aria [laughter] called him pisspot!", Sarina was helpless, tears of laughter were streaming down her face and she was trying to hold her sides and to cover her breasts at the same time, "Goddess, I'm going to die!" Aria shot Sarina one of her very first annoyed looks and turned to fighting Kensi Commandoes again. Aetytha was having trouble keeping a straight face because Sarina's display was so hilarious, but she managed with a straight face, "My sympathies, Porta, I hope that you're not too offended by Sarina's brown noise."

"Brown noise, she says!", Sarina yelled and was overcome with another laughingfit.

Porta did not miss a beat, "Not really, [hiss-click], I'm used to being pissed on.[hiss-click]"

"Oh, Goddess, please save me!", moaned Sarina and sank away in yet another fit of uncontrollable laughter. Porta raised a hand and Aetytha clapped it. Porta adjusted his belt, "I want to help your friend, but I'm not good in a fight. [hiss-click] This is all very sudden. [hiss-click]"

Aria suddenly jumped over the barricade, cursing and throwing biotics. She crushed a Kensi Commando into the ground, collected her Carniflex and returned. Ducking behind cover she pushed the handcannon into Porta's hand, "Now you can help."

"Well dear, it seems we've found your true calling.", Aetytha said to Aria, "But our returntrip tickets are close to expiring, so we should be making our way to the space-port instead of aiming to become heroes of the revolution."

"Oh, shut up.", Aria hurled at Aetytha and while jumping over the barricade again, "Come on, Porta." Porta Jon hiss-clicked and hurried after Aria, shooting his new weapon in all directions without hitting anything, but yelling, "Illium free! [hiss-click]". It sounded very convinving.

Behind them, the riotteers carried the battle-cry and set after them. Aetytha spend a few moments in thought and then said to Sarina, who was recovering with the occasional after-giggle, "I think we should follow them, dear, before they put Aria on the throne of Illium. I don't think she'll like it much."

"No more potty-jokes! Throne of Illium!", Sarina fought against another attack.

Aetytha laughed as she helped Sarina to her feet, "You know me, dear, I don't make promises I can't keep- only those I can flush."

**9**

Kensi, the dictator of Illium paced around her office. Her sycophants were sweating since as the news from the riots was getting grimmer, so did Kensi's face. The riot wasn't really a riot anymore. It had grown into a full blown revolution in a matter of hours and her Kensi Commandoes were decimated and fleeing or joining the angry horde.

All her advisors urged her to flee, but Kensi wouldn't have any of that. In the early hours of the riot, Kensi had gathered from the reports that the riot was started by a volus and his troupe of three strippers. Kensi was sure she could still pinch this in the bud and restore order.

"I bet those three skanks service him every night in some perverted foursome.", Kensi grunted through clenched teeth, "I'll crush the volus and torture his sluts until they commit suicide out of desperation with their own biotics. After that, the mob will have lost momentum and we restore order with a firm, bloody and deadly hand. No one will ever dare to even think about revolting again. Blood will run down the streets and color them blue, but I, Kensi, will still be the ruler of Illium after the dust has settled!"

The fighting had unmistakenly reached the offices now and by sounds of it, it was already inside. Kensi loosened her neckmuscles and went for the door, "Time to end this charade.", she said, leaving her sycophants behind.

Aria was throwing her biotics around as if she was a seasoned asari commando, supported by Porta Jon who actually had learned pretty fast how to handle his Carniflex. As if the two of them had worked together for years, they fought their way through the offices towards the head-office where they figured Kensi would hide.

Somewhere in the chaos, someone had handed Sarina an oversized sweater and suitably covered up, she concentrated on helping out with well placed shockwaves. After conquering her laughingfits, fighting the good fight against an evil dictator was a dream come true for Sarina. Illium was close to being liberated and she was a part of it. It made her in a sense, very proud.

Aetytha had found a bottle of booze, which didn't surprise Aria or Sarina, and she was passing it around while occasionally remembering that she should throw some biotics too. Aetytha was moving around in the chaos just as easy as she would in a crowded bar. It looked as if the matron wasn't taking it seriously and who knows? Maybe she wasn't taking it seriously, or maybe she was. There was no telling with Aetytha. All the same, her easy way bolstered morale all around.

Then the fighting stopped as a stern, angry voice yelled "Enough!". Kensi left her office and faced her subjects unwaveringly, "All of you have one chance to stand down and return to your homes peacefully. You will not be harmed, but expect a tax-hike as the damage to Illium is repaired. Maybe I'll remember to lift the tax-hike afterwards, maybe not. Anyone willing to see this through, step forward and I'll painlessly end your worthless lives. Choose."

Porta Jon adjusted his belt and checked his Carniflex. He turned briefly to Aria and said, "I love you, my asari rose. [hiss-click]" Before Aria realised what Porta had just told her, Porta stepped free of the mob and calmly walked up to Kensi. Kensi couldn't hide her amusement at Porta's heroism. The little volus with the big gun pointed at Kensi and spoke, "Your reign of terror has come to an end, Kensi! [hiss-click] Surrender and we'll turn you over to the thessian justice aparatus. [hiss-click] Otherwise you leave me no choice but to kill you in single combat! [hiss-click]"

Kensi looked at the daring volus with barely contained laughter. Being challenged to single combat by a volus who was reportedly pimping three asari strippers was too crazy to be real. Kensi sobered and with a flick of the wrist, she lifted Porta and then slammed the volus inmensely hard into the ground. Porta's pressure-suit broke open and he exploded as result.

Kensi did not do anything, but her face showed disbelief and utter shock. She looked down and saw a wet blue spot forming in her clothes near her left breast and it was getting bigger pretty fast. As she fell to her knees, Kensi realised that Porta Jon had gotten a shot off and had managed to make it count. "Inconceivable...", Kensi whispered and then she too, fell dead.

Aetytha was the first to regain her senses after Porta Jon's heroic last stand. Grabbing Aria and Sarina by the hands, she dragged them along towards the exit of the governmental offices. Behind them, the biggest party ever in Illium's history broke loose.

**Some notes on the Illium Riots:**

The order was eventually restored by turian peace-keeping forces and for the following ten years, Illium was governed out of Thessia. While Kensi's body was recovered, the remains of Porta Jon were never found. To this day, it is not certain if Porta Jon even existed. Illium regained auto-government, but the governors that precided over the colony since have been very hands-off. As a result, Illium became what it is today, a centre of commerce and free trade and a magnet for every person with credits to burn and hoping to strike it big with another crazy get-rich-quick scheme.

Recorded history has been revised by sources unknown to strike important names, the best information on who organized the riots now is the mention of 'a secret asari'. Porta Jon is no longer mentioned.

To this day, historians researching Illium's history are offering exhorbitant sums to get their hands on the original accounts of the Illium Riots. No such accounts have ever been turned in.

**Sarina Pol**

Sarina returned to Thessia, but didn't reopen her clinic. Finding renewed motivation in her part in the Illium Riots, she returned to putting her political ideas and philosophies to paper. Sarina was not taken seriously, but living in great poverty, she persisted. It wouldn't be till after the reaper-war that her ideas took hold in the greater asari expanse. Sarina now is a head-administrator at a prestigious institute that provides a haven for Ardat-Yakshi. She has stepped back from politics to once again put her ideals to pratice.

**Aetytha**

Aetytha returned to Thessia too. She conquered Benizia T'soni and with her fathered a child they named Liara. Some time after Liara's birth, Aetytha and Benizia dissolved their unity. To this day, Aetytha lives her life as she sees fit. The matriarch is widely seen as the last true bohemienne of the asari party-culture, but yet commands great respect wherever she chooses to show up next.

**Aria T'loak**

Aria returned to Omega and exacted a terrible revenge upon the repurposed miningstation. Aria grew out to become the most feared asari crime-boss in modern asari history. Untouchable, ice-cold and uncontested, Aria rules over Omega with an iron-fist which reach is so extensive that established gangs like the Bloodpack and the Blue Suns rather not get in her way. The Eclypse have a feeble in-road, but they too know that Aria's favor is merely borrowed time. Aria maintains a weird friendship with Commander Shepard, and is known to work with the commander if it suits her. It is not known whether or not Aria still fills out personality tests.

All three women have not actively tried to remain in touch with eachother since the Illium Riots, which happened now more than four hundred years ago.

-The End.


End file.
